Beautiful breakups [art]
Artists taking as much care ending relationships as starting them
I’ve always admired people who take as much care in ending relationships as starting them. These are my favorite public examples of those kinds of breakups.
Patti Smith and Robert Mapplethorpe, (1967-1989)
Let this also be a formal recommendation to read Just Kids by Patti Smith. As far as I am concerned, this is the greatest love story ever told. Patti told Robert when he was on his deathbed that she would write this book (Robert died from complications related to HIV/AIDs at 42 and Patti wrote Just Kids while also mourning her husband’s, Fred Smith’s, death).
Patti and Robert met at a bookshop in New York and quickly fell in love, occupying the smallest (and cheapest) room at The Chelsea Hotel. Through the course of their romance, Robert was coming to terms with his homosexuality. In Patti’s words in the book, “we were evolving with different needs. I needed to explore beyond myself and Robert needed to search within himself.” Even as their physical relationship ended (Robert even moved away from New York), they pair remained in love by all other accounts. “We learned we wanted too much. We could only give from the perspective of who we were and what we had. Apart, we were able to see with even greater clarity that we didn’t want to be without each other.”
“Of all your work, you are still your most beautiful,” Patti wrote to Robert long after they split.
Marina Abramović and Ulay, “The Lovers: The Great Wall Walk”/“The Artist is Present” (1988/2010)
Marina and Ulay had two beautiful moments in their breakup; the first on The Great Wall of China and the second in New York’s Museum of Modern Art.
Marina and Ulay originally planned to get married on The Great Wall of China after meeting in the middle. Their relationship ended before they had a chance to marry, but they decided to honor the moment and do the walk anyway. The moment of their reunion is so touchingly warm.
For Marina’s 2010 performance, “The Artist Is Present,” she sat motionless in a chair for a combined 736 hours starting directly into the eyes of over 1,500 visitors seated at a table across from her. Between sitters, Marina tucks her chin to her chest with her eyes closed and then looks up, eyes wide, at her guest. Through all of those visitors, her focus and attention is unwavering. She never cacks. Until it’s Ulay seated across from her. She smiles and cries before breaking character and clasping his hands.
This, you just have to watch, starting at 1:15:
Patti Smith and Sam Shepard, “Cowboy Mouth” (1971)
Patti and Sam struck up a romance while Sam was married to O-Lan Jones.
I saw Patti Smith at The Nourse theater in San Francisco where she talked about her latest book, The Year of the Monkey, in which Patti reflects on many of the loves she lost in her life, most of them far too young. As Patti described it, the relationship with Sam was always going to end, but there was always a creative alchemy between them. Shortly after they split, Sam called Patti and told her, “this is getting too gloomy… let’s write a play!”
So, they did, on the same typewriter. They passed it back and forth between one another, each writing their lines and then passing it back. That play became “Cowboy Mouth” and they performed it together at The American Place Theatre, New York City.
More to buzz about:
“The Museum of Broken Relationships” by Leslie Jamison
https://www.vogue.com/article/patti-smith-sam-shepard-tribute-spy-of-the-first-person-launch
Patti Smith, “My Buddy” about Sam https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/my-buddy-sam-shepard
“The Artist is Present” review, beautifully titled “In the End, It Was All About You”
https://www.interviewmagazine.com/culture/patti-smith-and-robert-mapplethorpe
Life with Picasso by Francoise Gilot about her relationship with Picasso